Things I Had Never Done Before This Year

A few days ago a fellow blogger tweeted an idea about a blog prompt :)

This prompted for me a flashing before my eyes of what this past year has been.  These past twelve months have been an awakening for me...

A year ago this month, I spent the day with my sister and had that fateful conversation that started everything.  She's been in the lifestyle for many, many years and was only too happy to introduce me to it; she was the one who recommended FetLife to me.  I returned home that evening with renewed purpose, joined FetLife and started looking around.  A whole new world opened up for me that night as I started reading through group forums greedily.  Here were real people sharing the troubles and joys, the rewards and sacrifices of being in the lifestyle!

Up until this time I had only read fiction on BDSM and while that gave me some general pointers it was by no means a thorough introduction to what it meant.  Over the next several months I talked with people I met online and learned so much.

And experienced too.  I had never imagined actually meeting people and physically interacting; I had only ever meant to watch from the sidelines.  At my first meeting with someone over coffee I was so terrified I could barely speak.

I still felt I was really only meant to be an online observer.  My personal situation just too complicated, my professional life just too busy.  By this point I had made a few friends, one of whom has been my kindred spirit in kink.  We share each other's highs and lows and help each other process the journey (and egg each other on too!).  I'd be lost without my Rider :)

I started scening on my own, trying out ideas and sensations I'd never tried or done before (and I continue to do more, this is by no means an exhaustive list!):

• masturbating with toothpaste
• masturbating with Icy Hot
• 'figging'
• 'clothespegging'
• 'fire in the hole'
• candle wax and ice cube play
• wax painting
• melted marshmallow play
• mustard play
• erotic photography (I had always hated going in front of the camera in the past)

And bondage... a huge deal/fetish for me that led me straight to my first Real Life session with a real Dom.  I am interested in all forms of bondage but particularly shibari and it was that interest that got me beyond my nervousness and allowed me to agree to that session.  Though the aftermath was devastating it was an important point along the path and has allowed me to open myself to the idea of scening with another person in Real Time.

Yes, I've come a long way in a year and done many things I'd never thought I'd do.  And the journey continues...

WW & HNT: Dam It All!

No, no, the Dragon's not swearing!  That would be 'damn'... and she *may* be damned if she keeps this series going much longer! But here she is, back with another offering

See! of a DAM... it even says so!!

I found this place on a bike trip and stopped to explore... and eventually de-scale!

It was tricky as it was hardly isolated; there were other people walking on nearby paths and there was a huge hill nearby that I constantly had to scan as I worked, since someone could have had a bird's eye view of what I was doing quite easily!

Some shots of the mighty waters, for atmosphere :

the mighty waters, yes...

a better look at the force of the water... hmmm...

and a side view, where I finally nestled in ;)

It took some wrangling about to get the proper angle, with many furtive glances about!  I had gotten perhaps one shot I was happy with when I heard voices and suddenly a young boy was walking toward me to check out the scenery!  No idea how much he saw before I saw him!  I turned away from him and just kept shooting pics of the area studious ignoring the fact that he and a couple others were there for several minutes.  When they finally left, I tried one more time and got a shot I liked better :)

So this Dragon De-scaling makes notch #11 on the Scavenger Hunt :)

And the series is not over yet!  I just shot more pics this week... ;)

Go see who else is being wanton here

And if you miss Wanton Wednesday, there's always Half-Nekkid Thursday... you can find out all about that here

TMI Tuesday: Gone Hollywood

Gone Hollywood

1. If a screenwriter turned you into a character in a movie,
a. What stock Hollywood character would it be most like? For example: best friend, ditzy blonde, absent-minded professor, captain of industry, etc.
b. What actor/actress would play you?

What, stock? Run to a type?  Me??
I'm not sure that I could be pigeonholed that way...

But by all means let's make me a sexy, gorgeous thing...

"I'm not bad.  I'm just drawn that way..."

2. What genre of movie is your life most like? For example: romantic comedy, goofball comedy, spy, coming of age, action/adventure, sci-fi, etc

Oh, by all means a comedy!  Certainly not romantic... perhaps a bit goofball... definitely some action/adventure thrown in :)

3. What kind of scene in a movie would you like to play most? Why?
a. Argument
b. Love scene
c. Gun fight
d. High-speed car chase

An argument.  IRL I can’t argue my way out of a paper bag but give me a scripted scenario and I RULE… in fact, in most of my theatre productions I’ve been typecast as an intense, in-your-face character which is just hysterical considering how I am IRL, but there you go.

 note the abject fear... muhahahaha...

4. Have you ever looked around you and thought “this is like a scene from a movie”? What were the circumstances?

Oh, all the time...!
Because we all know that if you hang around me, there's rarely a dull moment! ;)

5. Have you ever looked at a character in a movie and said, “Hey, that could be me”? Who/what was the character?

Nope, sorry... can't say I've ever had that revelation...

Bonus: Have you ever been in pictures–Hollywood film, porno, homemade video, or other type of film? Tell us about it. …and is it on YouTube?

Yes… in the mid-80s several of us got together to film “Rambo’s Bad Day”… I appeared as a ditzy Neon Girl.  I have it about on DVD somewhere, it would be hysterical if it ever showed up on YouTube!!

I have been on YouTube as a result of various productions I’ve been in… several are still up.  I’d tell you where they are but then I’d have to kill you hahaha (no, really, I can’t, they’re tagged with my real name ~ but trust me, they’re AWESOME!!).

*~*~*~*~*~
Perhaps my most inspired performance (and with coincidently the largest audience) was a few months after Bis and I had separated (my first husband ~ background on that here and here for those who have not followed me since the beginning).  A group of us all went down to a science fiction convention in South Carolina that was quite popular in its day, usually attended by several hundred people from all over the country.  One of the events was a talent show, and I got a very evil idea... I went up on stage in skimpy lingerie and and acted like a *complete* airhead.  My 'talent' was to sing the alphabet song (and use sign language at the same time) and I made myself struggle to remember letters, etc.  In the midst of my performance I could hear a collective gasp go up from a section of the audience and a familiar voice shout, "OmiGod! She's doing K---- (name of the bimbo Bis left me for)!!!!!!!"


I apparently nailed the character of that vapid little bitch, to the roaring approval of my friends, and won an award for my convincing performance.  It was cathartic as hell and helped more than any therapy ever could. :)

Go see who else is sharing TMI here

WW & HNT: Wantonly Sinful

I can't tell you how much I wanted to post this on Sinful Sunday... but in keeping with my Wednesday Dragon De-scaling series, I kept it to today :)

Time for a bit of a revelation... *ahem*  Now, as I state here, you do not ever want to engage me in a discussion of religion.  I am a happy heathen, if a spiritual one.  That being said, I do participate in organised religion, for the sake of the children.  I wanted them to have a broad-based religious education so that they could make their own informed decisions, as I have.

So this is how I ended up here... and felt free to walk in on a recent Sunday...

and climb up to the choir loft... and after a bit of fiddling about, pose...

As I was shooting, I could hear the choir director directly below me in the sanctuary.  She could have come up the stairs at any point...

But I got off scot-free... and notched another mark for the Scavenger Hunt...
In fact, this would be notch #10, which brings me to the Gold!!!
Dee updated the SH page  so I'm showing off my new badge (whee!! thank you Dee!!!! ) :)

And! I have not stopped there!  I recently (and at great risk) snapped pics for notch #11, which I will present next week :)

Go see who else is being wanton here

And if you miss Wanton Wednesday, there's always Half-Nekkid Thursday... you can find out all about that here

TMI Tuesday: WWKD?*

What would you do?

1. You encounter a good looking lost and frantic tourist looking for the airport. You:
A) Shrug your shoulders, feigning ignorance.
B) Find the shortest route on your smartphone and get him/her a cab.
C) Direct him/her to the nearest bus stop.
D) Get your car, pick up his/her luggage and speed to the airport.

That would depend on where I am and who I’m with.  Sounds cruel, but I grew up eating tourists for breakfast, so I’d likely tell them where to go and how to get there…

2. You’re taking a vacation alone. Your destination:
A) Beach resort — I just want to relax and de-stress.
B) A group tour — I don’t want to worry about the details.
C) Wherever the dart lands on the map.
D) Every country with a hostel — my backpack is my home.

Whilst the beach has a certain appeal… I really do want to go backpacking through Europe!!  I’m sure I could hit a beach or two on the way… ;)

3. Blackout! You can’t watch TV, so you light some candles and:
A) Dig up some batteries and listen to the radio.
B) Invite the neighbours, light a fire and sing camping songs all night.
C) Find a friend and play games that don’t require electricity. . . Like chess.
D) Drive to the next town — oh sweet Wi-Fi, I’ve found you!

Gee, this just happened recently to us with Hurricane Irene.  For the sake of the kids, I took 'em out of the house every evening and went where there was electricity until bedtime, then back home and put them to bed.  Had I been by myself… I would definitely find a friend to play games that don’t require electricity and we are NOT talking chess here!!!

4. The man/woman of your dreams has finally proposed. The relationship is perfect, they are everything you’ve ever dreamed of and ever wanted. They are also a multi-millionaire and want you to sign a prenuptial agreement. Which would you do?
A) Sign it
B) Just not get married

Sign it, and have him counter-sign one to stay away from MY assets in case of divorce.  Keep ‘em guessing, I say…

5. If you were going to marry an inanimate object, what would you marry?
Note: A woman has married the Eiffel Tower and another has married the Golden Gate Bridge. Read about it HERE

A rock.  Preferably a rock that resembled human form.  Oh wait! I could marry one of those sparkly vampires, they’re made of stone, yes?  C’mere, Edward!!

Bonus: You’ve just inherited a manufacturing plant that specializes in plastics. What are you going to make?

Duuhhh… sex toys!!!! What else?!

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 *What Would Kazi Do?

And now Kazi directs you to go seek out others who are providing TMI about these questions... go HERE.  NOW!

TMI Tuesday: Dating

DATING

1. You’re on a speed date. You’ve got 7 minutes with the potential partner. You already know the person’s name. What are the first three questions you would ask?

The questions wouldn’t necessarily be in this order, but I would ask what the person did for a living, what were they ‘into’ (ie., kink), and whether they cared that I’m married.

2. Have you ever participated in speed dating? Did you get a regular date/second date out of it?

Nope, not ever!  With the amount of time it takes me to ‘warm up’ to someone enough to carry on a conversation, it just wouldn’t even be practical to try to put me on a timer.

3. Do you participate in online dating? How many dates have you had as a result of online dating sites/matches?

I don’t call it that, but let’s say for the sake of argument that FetLife qualifies, since that’s how I meet the majority of people ‘in the lifestyle.’  I have met 4 people so far that have made it to the ‘let’s meet for coffee’ status (I’m meeting #4 this week in fact).  Of these, two made it to a second meeting, both of which ended up being scene sessions (as in BDSM). Neither of those progressed further.

4. You are attracted to:
a. Who people are?
b. What people have?
c. What they can do?

Who people are, as in what they’re about, their interests, et cetera, and what they can do, as in what are their strengths and what are they ‘into’ is the draw for me.

5. What “little red flag” will cause you to end a date or immediately decide this person isn’t for you?

First contact usually says a lot… if the person is rude, arrogant, unable to put together a coherent English sentence or just plain creepy at first blush, the message goes directly to trash bin.  If they continue to push at hard limits even before we meet, or I start to feel uncomfortable with continuing contact, it’s over.  I will not meet with someone in person until I’m ready to do so, though I’ll happily chat in cyber (with the caveat no real name, no cam, no exceptions).

6. What do you feel you need to sacrifice or have sacrificed to be a part of a relationship?

In the past, everything!!  Now, I don’t feel the need to sacrifice anything.

7. If you cooked for your date, what would you cook?

Depends on what they would like.  I wouldn’t want to make something the person would hate… I get that enough from the kids!!!

8. At the end of a first date, how would you kiss your date?
a. Press your lips against theirs
b. Gentle kiss on the cheek
c. Lots o’ tongue, like you’re on a tonsil exploration
d. I don’t kiss on the first date

See my reasoning on that here… I really have not changed much since writing that; if anything the boundaries have become more defined.

Bonus:  You just put up a profile on a dating site. You must describe yourself in 10 words or less. What are your 10 words?

Do acronyms count? LOL

MWBF sub GSOH seeking D/s, must be friends first.

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Go see who else is sharing TMI here

Purity Test

Catharine did this and I became curious... always a dangerous thing! ;)

Is anyone surprised at the results?

Your Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 Score Is...
	Your Score:	Average For All Users	Average For All Bisexual Females (3899 total)
Dating	53.85%	34.58%	24.39%	Flirts mildly, then runs away
Self-Lovin'	46.97%	60.67%	51.17%	When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself
Shamelessness	70.97%	77.3%	64.36%	It takes a couple of drinks
Sex Drive	85.71%	75.04%	62.79%	The Pope is envious
Straightness	48.15%	39.43%	22.57%	Experienced, but with room to grow
Gayness	83.33%	77.52%	46.11%	Repressed, are we?
Dominant	100.00%	86.45%	77.79%	Afraid to cross at "Don't Walk" signs
Submissive	66.67%	86.7%	73.67%	Bound and gagged a few times
Fucking Sick	77.55%	89.68%	81.08%	Refreshingly normal
Total Score	71.29%	73.58%	60.27%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 and see how you match up! (By The Ferrett)

TMI Tuesday: I Love Music

I Love Music

I love music, any kind of music

I love music, just as long as it’s groovin’

1. What’s the most annoying song in the world?

Anyone who’s ever been to Disney World knows this one… “It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears, It’s a world of hopes and a world of fears…”

2. What’s the saddest song in the world?

“Christmas Shoes” I don’t know who sings it, but it’s one of those ‘Carols at Christmastime’ that just get you right here… *thumps chest*

3. What’s the sexiest song in the world?

I truly don’t have a good answer for this one.  The song I would pick if forced to make a choice would be “I’m Never Gonna Leave This Bed” by Maroon 5

4. Name a new, to you, band or music artist that you can’t get enough of? Post a link to one of their songs.

My latest fascination is Evanescence…

5. Have you met any famous musicians?

Yep… BB King (a blues singer) and Huey Lewis (from Huey Lewis and the News)

6. What song best describes your life?

I’ll do one better… this very special video puts a spin on where I am in my life at the moment and the fact that I can laugh at it so well…

  

7. How important is your partner’s taste in music to you?

Not at all… my tastes in music are quite eclectic.  Just don’t play them at high volume 24/7 please…

8. Do you sing in the shower?

Oh my yesh… often in different languages.  If I’m NOT singing… it usually means I’m angry/depressed…

9. What was the last live music show you attended? Did you buy a t-shirt?

I don’t do live music shows as I can’t stand crowds… I think the last I was dragged to was a Peter, Paul, and Mary concert many years ago now… and no, I didn’t get a t-shirt

10. What’s the sweetest song in the world?

I’m torn between “The Candy Man” and “A Spoonful of Sugar (Helps The Medicine Go Down)”

11. Can you play a musical instrument? Which one?

Yes, several.  Violin, cello, percussion, oboe, piano, baroque recorder, kazoo, slide whistle… before you laugh, I’ve played all of these in live performances.

12. Are you in a band or are you a performing solo music artist? If yes, what kind of music do you play?

Not per se.  I do perform on stage on a regular basis and yes, I perform solo songs, but it’s not a “band” type of deal…

13. Have you ever dated a musician?

Yep, out of convenience since we were both in the same band/orchestra… Bis (my first husband) also performed music on stage.

14. Are you a groupie?
- If yes, for what artist/band?
- If no, do you wish you were and for what music performing artist or band?

NO.  That lifestyle is not for me.  There are many artists I admire, but I would not wish to be their ‘groupie’

<<<¬¬¬~~~¬¬¬>>>

In other news… I have been without power as a result of Hurricane Irene, and I’m also starting back to work this week, so I will not be blogging nor Twittering as often.  Hopefully things will lighten up by the end of the week… :/

See who else is spewing TMI here…

TMI Tuesday: Random stuff the universe needs to know about YOU

1. When you go to a party, would you rather show up accidentally underdressed or overdressed?

Being the Queen of Casual, I have shown up to a party severely underdressed (think sweatpants amidst dinner jackets! ...uh-huh), though in my defence no one told me it was a dress-up affair!  I would of course rather be over-dressed, like that would ever happen… ¬¬

2. What is something you have won and how did you win it? (Inspired by the An Optimistic Virgin)

I once won an award for a Latin studies ‘game show’ competition against other schools because I knew the relationship between Oedipus and his mother (and Electra and her father).  Go me!

3. Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle, end, or top?

We use a pump-style toothpaste, so that’s a non-sequitor really.  When I do use a tube (of anything) I roll up from the bottom though.

4. What is something your parents used to say to you that you promised yourself you would never say–but now you catch yourself saying frequently?

BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!!

5. What 3 lies did you regularly tell your parents? If applicable, what 3 lies do you tell your parents now?

(In kindergarten, because they made it a big deal) I used my right hand to make this…

It wasn’t me.

I’ll clean my room later…

These days I don’t need to lie.  I just don’t tell them what I’m up to… ;)

6. What is something that you intended to do today but didn’t? Why not? Will you do it tomorrow?

Did everything I intended to, and more… ;)

7. What is something that people do in traffic that really bothers you? (inspired by My Quest To Be A Good Girl)

Pull right in front of me when I’m purposely hanging back because of bad road conditions.  There’s a REASON for the three second rule… !!

8. Whose autographs have you collected? (You can stop at five, in case you’re an autograph hound or celebrity stalker).

I’m not an autograph hound by any means (I would rather collect other things instead!) but I do have a mug with the autographs of all of the original Star Trek cast, a picture with sigs of all the original TV cast of Stargate:1, Josh Groban’s autograph, Robert Pattinson’s autograph, and a pic with sigs from the cast of the Hillywood Show (posing with me).  There’re likely others I’m not thinking of from my many years attending SF&F conventions.

Bonus: Where do you go to find solitude, tranquility or connection to a higher power?

I take a walk, either to the deep woods or an open field, the farther away from people the better.  I’ve also been known to lock myself in a darkened room and stare at a candle flame.

10 Things I have Done That You Probably Have Not

Following in the footsteps of Dee and Catharine, I have created my list of 10 things I have done that you probably have not.  Baaahhh...

In chronological order:

Posed as a guy to get into a ‘good ol’ boys’ science fiction club and corresponded with a fellow for about a year before we finally met in Boston for a convention; he didn’t catch on until we met (and even then – we attended a movie together and he pounded my chest with his fist at a really funny part until he realised what he was doing LOL)

Put a piece of wedding cake in the mail for a friend in a regular envelope and marked it ‘Fragile: Do Not Hand Stamp’

Went snorkelling with George Takei (Sulu on the original Star Trek, or Hiro’s father on Heroes)

Was responsible for creating the Immortal Line ‘Where’s My Shoe?!’ which sparked a rash of buttons that may still be seen at some sci-fi & fantasy conventions

Re-entered a burning building without safety equipment and pulled a person to safety before rescue crews arrived

Gave birth to six children by means of artificial reproductive technology

Self-published a book that catalogued a difficult period of my life that is available through Amazon and still nets me the occasional royalty

Sang a Josh Groban song (“To Where You Are”) as a solo for a funeral

Played a fiddle, baroque recorder, kazoo, and slide whistle during the course of a musical production in front of a live audience

Worn a karada (shibari body harness) whilst riding a bike