Pardon me... do you have any Grey Poupon?

Now that I'm fully healed, it's time to get back to the fun! I will soon be scening in RT with a Dom, but in the meantime I need to get back up to speed and see what the ol' bod can do with re-worked parts ;)

Of course, I've been keeping company with erotica all this time (some of my favourite authors put out some excellent works recently that I'm still going through) but it was time to get more active and that means sensation play!! Heaven knows when I'll get the house to myself again and I didn't want to wait for that, so it's been clandestine sessions in the bedroom after the kids have been asleep a good while, knowing Taz doesn't come upstairs anymore before 0330...

Last week was the Marshmallow Fluff, which I do plan to do more of when I'm able to scene with it... being that it's a bit too messy for bed/closet use and I want to try melting things next time.  This time round I was inspired by a post of DDD's and decided to take on mustard in active play.  I didn't go to Big Lots... instead I hit a grocery store near one of my programs and picked up four different types of mustard

I wasn't paying attention which queue I got into for checkout other than making sure it was an express queue... imagine my surprise when I got up to the clerk and it was someone I knew from the theatre!!  I'm sure she wondered a bit at my purchases, though I'm sure her mind didn't wander in that direction... *blush*

I knew I was going to need to spread this over four nights as each of these would generate a lasting sensation and I wanted to experience the effect of each separately.  I debated going with a timer and tripod but in the end just kept the camera to hand (which made things interesting once I got into the session, had to remember to keep one hand clear to operate the camera, which turned out to be my nondominant hand).

For the first night, I went with the all-American picnic favourite

I took my time with it, doing some nipple play first.  The nips respond to touch of course, but there was really no effect from the mustard.

Trying down lower... again the clit piercing responds nicely to touch, but there was no appreciable effect from the mustard, not even a sting.  Finally, I put Golden Boy to work... and it was a good session... but it wasn't the mustard that got me there.  Sorry, French's... you just don't cut the mustard for sensation play ;)

The second night I decided to go for some spicy goodness :)

Again nips and clit were largely unaffected, though it was fun to play with something a little grittier in texture and I did respond to that (note to self: more texture play in the future!).  When it came time to play with Golden Boy, there was a pleasant warmth associated with our play that stayed through the night and into the next day.  Now we were getting somewhere!

The third night, it was time to pull out all the stops ;)

I love horseradish generally as a condiment and when I saw it paired with mustard I just couldn't resist! and I was not disappointed... though the nips didn't feel anything special the clit sure did! and I knew I'd found a winner :)

Golden Boy wears it well, doesn't he?

Introducing the mustard inside brought on a near-immediate swelling sensation similar to my fire-in-the-hole experience  and the orgasm it generated was blazingly intense.  Even better, the spicy feeling again lasted into the next day as a pleasant reminder... this will be a definite repeater.  The only downside was that the room smelled of horseradish the next day, though Taz never said anything...

Last night was the Grey Poupon, which of course brought up memories of the old commercial :)

Again, the nips enjoyed the play, even if not affected by the particular substance used

The clit stung a bit, which for some reason I wasn't expecting... I honestly didn't think I'd get as big a reaction as I had from the horseradish mustard the previous day.  I was pleasantly surprised on taking on the bedecked Golden Boy to discover that the effect was just as intense!  The only disappointment of the night was that the batteries failed for the bullet attachment, so orgasm had to be achieved without vibration.  It wasn't difficult... ;)

All in all, a very fun and fulfilling week, if a little messy!! A bath towel took care of the worst of it, my sheets are none the worse for wear.  I do have other types of mustard already in the fridge, but for now I'm going to move on and try something different for next week... (*peers into toy bag for what might be to hand*)...

Beyond S'Mores

Several years ago I chaperoned a Girl Scout overnight camping trip and brought back a recipe that we still use for our own camping trips and sleepovers.  It's similar to s'mores but uses tortillas; you lay the tortilla flat and put a variety of candy chips on it (I particularly recommend peanut butter and dark chocolate, but of course you can add other flavours as well) and mini marshmallows, then roll the tortilla around the chips to form a burrito shape, wrap in foil, and put over the flames for about ten minutes.  A decadent yummy treat, and makes a nice breakfast with coffee the following morning too :)

A recent thread on FetLife mentioned another use for marshmallows: sexy glue!! I've started to play with this concept and my first foray was quite stimulating indeed.  It had been awhile since I had done any type of sensation play (before my surgery!) and I was eager to give this a go.

Rather than nuking marshmallows, I took a suggested shortcut and picked up some Marshmallow Fluff to try.    When next I have the house to myself, I believe I would love to experiment with warm toasted marshmallows (mmmmm... ) but in the interest of time I started with this room-temperature goo.

To the breasts.

I was hesitant to get either the nip rings or the clit piercing involved as I didn't want jewelry getting pulled out over this.  After this experiment I'm thinking they would've probably been okay with the fluff.

After I applied a good bit of the fluff inside my bra, I went off to tech rehearsal for the evening (I had to wear a loose sweatshirt over my shirt as it was sticking to me rather funny... )

One property of the fluff that I soon discovered is that it expands rapidly with body heat.  Less is more in this case... I think I may have overdone how much I stuffed into the bra...


The sensation was odd... It felt as though I had padded myself with foam insulation.  There was also a tugging sensation brought about because I was adhering to my clothes.  It made my nipples feel more sensitive even though the goo never went there :)

It went everywhere else though! :)

When I returned home, I sent the kids to bed and then extended the experiment by adding more fluff to a pair of underwear (I used an old 'granny' set to increase the coverage area.  The goop quickly spread once again, though it didn't get into the clit area at all.

Touching the 'loaded' underwear reminded me of the gel foam stuff they put in diapers now to make them more absorbent (no, I don't wear them, but I'm not that far removed from having had to change them...)  This stuff was more mobile though, and I had to be careful where I stood as some gobs of goo dripped out.

The pulling sensation was stronger below as it involved the tops of my legs, particularly in the creases of the groin area and where butt meets thigh.  I could feel the adhesive quality then, a bit like ripping off tape as I walked about.

Clean-up was easy; the stuff dissolves in water and washes away easily, though I scrubbed a bit to get rid of that sticky feeling that seemed to stay behind.  Definitely worth trying again and adding toys to the fun!

Milking Mommy

It’s time to do some heavy thinking and re-evaluating some core beliefs and values (again) as I meander along the journey of exploring kink and find what works for me.  Things I never knew, that in learning change the playing field.

Way back, I mentioned my reaction to my friend’s writing about breast stimulation as erotic play and how I needed to explore that more, as previously it had not done much for me.  I’ve since learned that had more to do with my never having taken the time to explore myself in that way, and partners not taking time to see what felt good for me.  It’s been fun, exciting, and definitely erotic to discover that I can respond this way and what works best.

In another post, I talked about breastfeeding and the joy I had doing it for all three children (and the crazy positions it put me in!).  Although I certainly enjoyed doing it and considered it a very special time of my life, I in no way considered the activity of breastfeeding to be erotic.

Truth be told, the first time my milk came in was very traumatic.  I had just lost the triplets and the nurses had warned us that my body would still respond from the birth, cruel trick of nature that it was.  Sure enough, it came in about a week later; we had escaped up to Vermont after I left the hospital in order to avoid well-meaning friends and relatives who had absolutely no clue what to say to us.  I remember us driving home, still bereft, and me begging Taz to stop at a grocery store to get frozen peas to hold over my traitor swollen breasts.

The day after we got home we stopped by the funeral parlour to pick up the babies’ ashes.  As I turned the pink-slabbed urn about in my hands to read the name plate, I could hear the ashes moving about in the interred containers, a ghostly rattle.  In a truly psychotic moment I rocked and sobbed, thinking only that if I could just rip apart the urn and spray my breast milk over the contents, the ashes would reconstitute into our babies and all would be well again.

I don’t remember how long it took for lactation to subside; it was the least of my problems as I struggled in those next dark weeks to come to terms with what had happened and move on.  One consequence of that horrible event was that I could no longer mentally tolerate the concept of vaginal birth and the images it called forth.  It remained to be seen how I dealt with the rest of the concepts dealing with my body during pregnancy, birth, and lactation.

As it turned out, I was a nervous wreck for both subsequent pregnancies even while being grateful that I could in fact be pregnant.  Both were c-sections; the first because of my mind-block which translated in failure to progress, the second because it was twins and I’d already had the first one.  But the breastfeeding went beautifully, thank goodness.

It’s been seven years since I stopped breastfeeding; I was sad to let it go and look back on that time fondly.  And I’ve thought it to be one of those doors that don’t get re-opened ever again.  Apparently I’m wrong.

I’ve been asked to consider re-starting lactation again, this time for an adult relationship.  To consider it an erotic experience.  My mind has been spinning with this and I’ve been doing some reading.

I knew it was possible for a woman to bring about lactation for an adopted child with a lot of hard work.  But I had not realised that most of the ‘wet nurses’ in historical literature had also done that, I had assumed that they were all women who had given birth and no longer needed to suckle their own child so kept the milk going to be able to provide that service for other women’s children.  Not only that, but lactation is easier to bring about than I had been led to believe (by no means easy though!).

As an erotic activity though, hmmmn.  That’s a whole new mind-set for me.  I’m not going to lie; the more I consider the idea the more intrigued I am.  I’m shocked to find it’s even turning me on a bit, given my history.

I have time to assimilate this, luckily.  Still healing here, so doing plenty of reading and thinking and trying to decide how I feel about it.  That and threesomes, which is a post for another day…

Playing Post-Surgery

I have been gratified... encouraged... frightened? by my return of libido after tossing the womb to the curb by open abdominal three weeks ago today.  Likely retaining the gonads have contributed to that, but there appears to be no slack-off of the high appetite for erotic & kinky.

Granted, for the first week or so I was way too cautious and achy to even try.  It wasn't until I weaned myself off the narcotics that I even felt a stirring of the old flame and even then it took a couple of days before I acted on it.

Then came the Friday night nearly two weeks in when the opportunity presented and the gloves came off!  Taz and Moopie headed out to NJ to catch some of her summer theatre friends in a production, leaving me with the twins.  Once I had them bedded down I had the night to myself and the toybag came out to play :)

'No penetration' was still the rule.

Remember when I asked, "What about anal?"??

Yes, I was a bit sore the next day, but happily so, and since then the urges have only become stronger.

Yesterday, I finally tied myself back into a karada for the first time since before surgery; I had been hesitant since there are knots near (though not on) the surgical site and rope passes over it.

It has been fine however, and has certainly added to the fun... the tension in the harness and the way the knots rub have kept me mindful and near the edge almost constantly.  At one point the family left the house to catch a movie and let me work on my Paper of the Week, and I could not resist grabbing some time to myself to strip down to just the karada and read erotica until I had brought myself to several rolling orgasms and was a panting mess on the floor. :)

There is also the fun of wearing the karada around with no bra, no panties... just a tank top and swim trunks... even when walking around outside.  Did I mention the constant edginess?  Yes, I'm sure I did...

Last night I curled up next to Taz for a snuggle.  His hands roamed over the rope curiously and I held my breath thinking, 'this is it!'  But sadly, no... he kept watching TV and eventually I fell asleep beside him until he woke me and kicked me upstairs.  Ah, well...

Sinful Sunday: Wax Painting

When commenting on the aftermath, people noticed the paintbrushes and wondered about them...

I have found that in addition to dripping and pouring wax in a session, I also enjoy brushing the wax on :)

Finer brushes can be used for letters

Wider brushes for more general strokes

A wholly sensual experience, and one that I hope to expand upon in coming sessions :)

Go see who else is being sinful here

Sinful Sunday: Toying Around

Last week I showed you the aftermath...

Now for some of the fun of the scene :)

A frozen treat

That lights up and vibrates with the right addition

Meanwhile, a little e-stim going on in the hills

The results... should I say it? were positively electrifying :)

Go see who else is being sinful here

Sinful Sunday: Aftermath of a Scene

Cleaning up on Sunday after scening all weekend is a bittersweet prospect.

Sadness... as I'm wishing I were still playing.

Quiet joy... as I remember the high points and intense feelings of the weekend.

Scheming... as I plan to do it all again... more, better... SOON.

See who else is being sinful here

Tied and Clipped

I've taken to running a photography session on Friday nights to have pics for my posts for the coming week.  It's been a fun, sensual way to start the weekend... feels almost as good as scening as I plan out the session, dress up, move about, and pose.  Even the editing work afterward gives me a thrill

This week's theme is all about self-bondage :)
As I tied myself into a karada (Shibari body harness) on Friday afternoon, it was like slipping into a welcome second skin...

A good friend of mine had mentioned bondage with paper clips.  Intrigued, I went out and found some multi-coloured clips to play around with.  Not really functional bondage, mind, more symbolic than anything but fun to try

"Red and yellow, catch a fellow"

Bound and ready to serve...

I had some other fun with bondage (not necessarily with clips), but you'll have to wait for those...

See who else is being sinful here...

HNT: Patriotic Lingerie

Back to my lingerie drawer for a photoshoot... feeling patriotic this week in my intimate wear.  Don't I look Dommy though?

An online Master I was playing with some time ago expressed horror that I didn't have my very own flogger, so I rectified that bit of negligence this past week with a beaded cat o'nine and have been duly practicing on myself.  As the sales tag stated, "It hurts so good!"

See how to play at being "Half-Nekkid" here...

Wanton Wednesday: RIP and Roar

First, I must say R.I.P. to Old Faithful, who finally gave out (well before his time!) under too much wear and tear...

R.I.P. dear old thing... you served me well!

And now I must introduce his replacement, and oh my my... I'm already in love!!!

Meet Golden Boy :)

He can work alone or with a bullet device that came along... it has 10 different settings!  The bullet fits snugly in the ring and does quite a nice job, I must say.  Golden Boy is made of handworked glass... I can heat him up or freeze him safely for more sensation fun!

I picked him up Friday (he came highly recommended by the friendly store clerk who also put him through his paces for me and let me play with him before I took him home) and we've already had several sessions together... this is a pic from one of the first since I was doing a general photo shoot and then got to playing around ;)
There's a click through to later in my play... yes, the bullet glows in the dark!

I think we'll be very happy together ;)

See who else is being wanton here