This prompted for me a flashing before my eyes of what this past year has been. These past twelve months have been an awakening for me...
A year ago this month, I spent the day with my sister and had that fateful conversation that started everything. She's been in the lifestyle for many, many years and was only too happy to introduce me to it; she was the one who recommended FetLife to me. I returned home that evening with renewed purpose, joined FetLife and started looking around. A whole new world opened up for me that night as I started reading through group forums greedily. Here were real people sharing the troubles and joys, the rewards and sacrifices of being in the lifestyle!
Up until this time I had only read fiction on BDSM and while that gave me some general pointers it was by no means a thorough introduction to what it meant. Over the next several months I talked with people I met online and learned so much.
And experienced too. I had never imagined actually meeting people and physically interacting; I had only ever meant to watch from the sidelines. At my first meeting with someone over coffee I was so terrified I could barely speak.
I still felt I was really only meant to be an online observer. My personal situation just too complicated, my professional life just too busy. By this point I had made a few friends, one of whom has been my kindred spirit in kink. We share each other's highs and lows and help each other process the journey (and egg each other on too!). I'd be lost without my Rider :)
I started scening on my own, trying out ideas and sensations I'd never tried or done before (and I continue to do more, this is by no means an exhaustive list!):
- masturbating with toothpaste
- masturbating with Icy Hot
- 'figging'
- 'clothespegging'
- 'fire in the hole'
- candle wax and ice cube play
- wax painting
- melted marshmallow play
- mustard play
- erotic photography (I had always hated going in front of the camera in the past)
And bondage... a huge deal/fetish for me that led me straight to my first Real Life session with a real Dom. I am interested in all forms of bondage but particularly shibari and it was that interest that got me beyond my nervousness and allowed me to agree to that session. Though the aftermath was devastating it was an important point along the path and has allowed me to open myself to the idea of scening with another person in Real Time.
Yes, I've come a long way in a year and done many things I'd never thought I'd do. And the journey continues...
Congratulations on having such an amazing first year! Its good to reflect so you don't lose sight of how far you've come. I hope your second year is even better!
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