A post written recently by a fellow blogger gave me pause. He and his wife spoke about the dwindling participation in a weekly meme that promotes appreciation for various views of the human body in Half-Nekkid form. I’ve only participated a handful of times but had already noted the lack and ascribed it to being a newcomer to an already established clique.
As the comments to his post poured in, another picture emerged, that of jaded bloggers who were only out for their own traffic and were tired of the same old, same old. There’s some truth in that, definitely… how often can you look at pictures of someone’s nipples and come up with an original comment?
As a sex blogger… well, frankly I suck and I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m not a 20-something hot babe telling you about my latest pounding by a huge dick. I don’t have a body to die for, and I’m not having sex with anyone in real time. I don’t have any ‘hooks’ or ‘glitz’ to draw readers in. I started this blog for me… to chronicle and process a journey I’m taking as a repressed late bloomer, new on the scene. All I really have going are my forays at solo sensation play, my budding interest in erotic photography and willingness to take it public, and my ability to write.
In the end, I boil down to just another female sex blogger. We are Legion, ayep. But it is also good to remember the social aspect of blogging and the unique perspective that everyone brings to the table, the concept that we can learn from each other. It’s what first brought me to blogging ten years ago, when I started out on LiveJournal.
Yes, I can certainly stand to be more friendly and I freely acknowledge that; it’s something I’m working on. But I do wonder how ‘worth it’ it is when I make a point of visiting and commenting on everyone else’s post for a weekly theme like HNT or Sinful Sunday or Wanton Wednesday… and work to put a quality post together on my blog for the occasion… only to get a handful of comments when I see other participants getting twice and three times as many. I understand that it’s a way of driving traffic to people’s blogs and getting noticed, but a little love along the way would be nice to spread around. Karma is a bitch…
I really like that you are writing the blog for yourself. That should be the first and foremost reason you do it unless you are seeking profit. Don't worry about the volume of comments. Sometimes less is more. I'd be more inclined to worry about the value of the comments.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to following your blog.
-ms
Thank you! and I agree, quality is better than quantity! I'm certainly not in it for the money LOL
ReplyDeleteI think it's more the sense of fair play and playing nicely in the sandbox together that I was going for ;)
One of the things I was disappointed about with my post that inspired this post of yours was the focus on comments, or the lack of. It's the community that I miss- we all participated in HNT, that was the common bond, so the pics got me there, the other content is what kept me coming back.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt there are people who post HNT pics solely for the comments, hell there are people who have HNT-only blogs, that's the sole existence of the blog.
With Wanton Wednesday and other meme's, I try to comment to everyone who plays that week, but honestly, sometimes I don't have much to say. I'd rather not comment than leave something insincere just for the sake of commenting. For what it's worth, in my experience about 1% of my visitors will actually leave a comment.
Hmmmn, I can see that... and you're right, it's not the volume of comments, it's the community and that people would want to come back in between. I guess I was focusing on comments because to me it was telling whether people were interested/paying attention and if they were inspired enough to come back. I'm likely not saying it right, and I'm horrible at social cues, but I sensed an indifference early on, as if I was breaking into an already established coffee klatch. I think in successive weeks that impression may have eased up somewhat, but I haven't gotten the sense of welcome I've known in other arenas, if that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteI really love the blogs where people are writing for themselves. Sometimes I think some of my blog posts kind of suck but I'm glad to write something down, the act of putting a thought into words makes it a little more meaningful, and sometimes someone will see something in it that I hadn't thought of.
ReplyDeleteI've just started reading your blog but I am already enjoying it because it is so sincere - just you being you and sharing a part of you that isn't always easy to share.
Thank you, Marcus!
ReplyDeleteI think those of us who are introspective tend to think our posts may seem 'out there' to others, but I have found in speaking to others that our writings touch more 'common chords' than we know; readers can lend perspective to those things we thought we knew about ourselves but were missing because we were too close to the subject matter :)
~Kazi
Hey Kaz. Like you I started my blog for myself. And like you, my blog doesn't have the gloss and high adventure of many sex blogs. I do check in on the blogs I follow and make comments as I can. I know I appreciate getting feedback and despite a healthy number of page views per day, I really don't see much in the way of comments.
ReplyDeleteElectronic interaction is more challenging as you just don't get the visual clues that help you to figure out how to better connect with someone. I don't think I have that figured out yet either. Sometimes when I comment, I end up pouring out my heart and then delete it all as it seems somewhat self-indulgent. Sometimes, I just don't know what to say as my own experience on a subject might be quite limited. And then I encounter someone like you (or Clive or Sparkiban or Pygar) who does make the effort to connect and I am encouraged to continue.
I think your blog karma is better than you think.
:-)
Hey :)
ReplyDeleteElectronic media are both easier and harder to deal with... easier, because you have that level of anonymity going and can say things you might not have the courage to in person. Harder for the reason you mentioned, missing some of the social cueing! and wondering if you're crossing over that line from being part of a comfy social network and sharing the toys in the sandbox, or being the attention diva ;)
It's a balancing act I hope one day I'll catch on to!