I had a perfectly atrocious day at work today where my faith in human nature regarding people I work with fell well below naught... and then received personally bad - though not unexpected - news at the end of the day. My sense of humour has since rallied to my rescue however and as I stood stirring up dinner this post just came to me...
For those in my readership who've never attended science fiction conventions in the past, this practice is known as filking... setting other words and themes to well-known tunes. Even before I ever attended one of those, however, I was singing the twisted lyrics of MAD Magazine musicals back when they covered the classics and I can still fondly remember old chestnuts like, "I'm a Doctor Out in Space," "What Do You Get When You Fly Through Space?" and "Dough Means Cash (For All of Us)." Inspired deviance...
...and so I give you
The Perfect Master (with apologies to all associated with Mary Poppins)
Wanted: a Master for a mischievous Dragon
[Sung]
If you want this choice position
Have a commanding disposition
Tight cheeks, tented shorts!
Play ‘games’, all sorts
You must be kind, you must be witty
Very stern and fairly gritty
Take me to Munches, give me treats
Plan scenes, bring cleats
Always be hard and cruel
Never give me gags, breath play, or stool
Love me as a committed thrall
And keep me tied against the wall
If You will scold and Dominate me
I will never give you cause to hate me
I won't pinch your testicles
So you can't pee
Leave wet spots in your bed
Or bad memories of me
Hurry, Master!
Many thanks
Sincerely,
The Dragon needing spanks!
i'll never be able to watch Mary Poppins again without thinking of this....your sense of humour is quite wicked! i like it!
ReplyDelete