Music to be a Turtle by

Are you a Turtle?

If you already are, you can just give me the stock answer and pass right along, friend.  For the uninitiated, there are four questions you need to answer correctly to join the Order of the Turtle.  The Turtle is never rude, remember that!

If you know the answers, sing them out in comments hahaha…

What is big and hard and sticks so far out of a man’s pyjamas that he can hang his hat on it?

What goes into the mouth long and hard and comes out soft and goosh-y?

What does a gentleman do standing up, a lady do sitting down, and a dog do with one leg in the air?

What’s a word that starts with ‘F’ and ends with ‘U – C – K’?

I’m even going to be nice and answer the last one for you.  Firetruck.  Heavens, what were you thinking of??

I’m now going to substitute that answer for the word you were probably thinking of, as I do not wish to have all sorts of screaming meta-tags aimed at this page for using the ‘F’ word too often as I present…

Music to Firetruck By (pffft… it’s been a long week, just go with it!!)

Many like to set the mood, kinky or otherwise, with lighting.  Others with music…

When Bis and I were still in our college days, he gave me to understand that Ravel’s Boléro was the ultimate music to firetruck by and would occasionally set up the music on his stereo in the dorm when he wanted to get his groove on.  He eventually had to stop, as I would get the giggles, which was not at all conducive to firetrucking in his mind… don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful piece of music but a bit too over-the-top for me as far as a seduction piece.

That said, I do have a thing for classical music, and you can seduce me anytime with the BSO playing the 1812 overture on a warm summer night under the stars, even if the fireworks are only in my mind… mmmmmm

I am a musician, as I may have mentioned, and I also have fairly eclectic tastes in music; my iTouch has thousands of songs from classical pieces to rap, from the sweet croonings of my idol Josh Groban to the harsh lyrics of Eminem, with a good dash of Kings of Leon, Five for Fighting, Green Day, Evanescence, Enya, Muse, and Linkin Park thrown in.  I originally upgraded to the iTouch so that I could download songs wirelessly and create playlists for rehearsal (stage performances), engineer original theatre production soundtracks (and even used an app this past summer to generate sound effects! fun!), and also create some personal playlists to exercise to, calm down with, and use to concentrate on schoolwork.

The one playlist I’ve not created? is one to firetruck by.  I really haven’t bothered, being solo as I am, not that I would be opposed to having music playing quietly in the background.

I’ve been intrigued by some of the suggestions I’ve seen in my readings of erotica, and most have made my download list.  One song in particular comes up again and again, that being ‘Closer’ by Nine Inch Nails.  I downloaded it and listened to it once or twice; it doesn’t really do it for me.  Makes me rather uncomfortable, truth be told.  I'd rather have my lover up close and personal whispering filthy things in my ear than hear a disembodied voice in a song.

Another song that was suggested enthusiastically was ‘Lying in the Hands of God’ (Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King by the Dave Matthews Band).  Meh… nice song if you’re going to get yourself into the rhythm to go at it for hours, I guess, not if you have any kind of urgency.

For my own tastes, I prefer something with a good beat to it, something like Kings of Leon’s ‘Manhattan’ or ‘Arizona’, or Muse’s ‘Undisclosed Desires’.  Vanilla Ice’s ‘Ice Ice Baby’ has a rhythm that might help you firetruck your partner through the mattress – or a wall – if you can get past the lyrics.

Fastest turn-off?  John Mayer’s ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’.  Really, anything by John Mayer – can’t stand his voice.


What gets your juices flowing?